Most of the material displayed on this site was written for different causes at different times. Some minor overlaps and repeats will be noticed thus. They are inevitable, if the context of such passages is not to be upset. For the sake of coherence I abstained from reediting and revising the various notes and trust you'll appreciate this decision.

♥ -- home
♥ -- about meFFisto
♥ -- more about meFFisto
♥ -- themes & you
♥ -- the art of fisting - part I
♥--- ♥ -- the art of fisting - part II
♥ -- articles, essays, poetry
♥ -- gallery to follow
♥ -- resources, links, site map
♥ -- e-mail

Lovers

Photograph: Jeff Palmer © 1997
by courtesey of Jeff Palmer

The Art of Fisting

Views & Sentiments
Perspectives & Alternative Dimensions

Part I

According to my perception fist fucking or fisting is the supreme of all sexual disciplines. It provides something other disciplines don't achieve in the same way. Fisting is unique in that it represents a platform for two men where far more than the physical-sexual aspects can be encountered, explored and reaped. I experience it as the most encompassing discipline, because it requires the total involvement of the self on all conceivable levels. That is why fisting is so immensely rewarding and euphorically gratifying - if intelligently comprehended in the first place. The sexual pleasures are only the physical manifestation of a complete mind-fuck. Sparing you the practical ins and outs about hygiene, technique and health risk awareness, I would like to convey something quite different.

Holistic Explorations

I am one-hundred percent hooked on fisting. I am devoted to it. It means infinitely more to me than the physical action on its own. Mere physical action only provides superficial and short-lasting gratification - it does not amount to more than an upgraded jerk-off, whereby I would simply feel used and abused in that my overall potential remained unrecognized, subsequently getting dismissed. Unfoundedly, in fact. I am only interested in men who are willing to explore and tap my resources, and who in turn are ready to reveal - not just their physical but - all of their qualities. I am more than my body. And so are you. I am functioning holistically, if you wish, and for sure, I can't be the only one experiencing himself in this way. It is the interplay of all senses - yours and mine - that makes fisting so tantalizing.

About Fear

Sadly, among some prospective fisting buddies I keep encountering too much emotional fear and its unpleasant consequences. I don't wish to be misunderstood: I am definitely not talking about any far-fetched, esoteric new age idée fixe in claiming that overcoming and ridding ourselves of fear, particularly of emotional fear, is a potential inherent in all of us. It is only a question of what choices we are willing to make. Generally, most of the time, fear is preventing us from the very choice that could further us all round.

As far as fisting is concerned, my choice is obvious: My desire to enact my fantasies and live up to my aspirations of unsurpassed union with a compatible fisting partner is the factor dictating my attitude, including sincerity and integrity, approach and assertiveness, radiance and, naturally, tenderness and compassion. Without fear.

None of these attributes can exist in the presence of emotional fear. Invariably, and not to be confused with mindful caution (of fisting accidents), when two men don't click together, it usually seems to be unrelated emotional fear of one play pal or the other - for whatever reason deeply rooted in the individual personality, or better: psyche. That is the inhibiting element so incongruous to warming up toward one another. Emotional fear comes in many disguises with pretty disastrous effects. To name but a few, it causes misperceptions, resistance, repression, irrational demeanour, such as intolerance and rejection, and inverted anger with resulting aggression. No fisting pal deserves to be subjected to any of them, nor to be deprived of fulfilment through emotional closeness. Fear strangles the gradual evolving of the indispensable mutual trust required in fisting. By its very nature - fear is the opposite of trust. With its corrupting properties fear totally discords with fisting and all that it stands for, has no place in it and, therefore, should never be allowed to infiltrate a session. The fear of one fisting partner cannot possibly be penetrated by the other. Never! It only adds to the credit of imbalance.

It's ironic: The very God-given instrument to help us liberate ourselves from fear is, in fact, feared.

Balance

Consider this: Balance is the name of the game. It applies to fisting as much as it does to anything else we do. Admittedly, it does take a conscious effort - by no means an insurmountable obstacle - to be fully aware of our playing partner, of his desires and of our own input into a fisting session. It then follows that the equal distribution of our mind-body-spirit potential, including emotions, is by far the most rewarding way to fulfilment - to the benefit of our fisting partner and, through his positive response, thus to our own. Whether we play as top or bottom, this balance can only come about by giving which - widely misperceived and consequently shunned - means by loving, and unconditionally at that. This way we shall be receiving all the same and be loved - plentifully. In other words: Balance causes harmony, one of the foremost essentials in fisting.

Look at it this way: We all know what we want out of fist lovemaking. Yet, if this wish amounts to nothing more than self-centered expectations leaving the partner and his rightful hopes stranded, nothing good will ever come of it. When a two-some session is unyielding and does not seem to take off, have you ever wondered why that could be so? Have you ever dismissed a fisting pal for you felt him to be inadequate? If so, I'm daring a good guess: you most likely dismissed him for all sorts of reasons but never for your own inadequacy - of not knowing better yourself.

Clearly, in situations like this it is imbalance upsetting and stifling the flow. The problem rests in the fact that one or the other, or both, too often tend to be pretty much unaware of their respective input. Imbalance comes about when the distribution of mind-spirit (= awareness), of heart-soul (= feelings, emotions) and of body (= desire, lust) input is disproportionate. It only needs one of you to offer the other a set of these constituents so out of sync that a "personality clash" is doomed to happen. Imagine how potentiated an effect this will have, if each one of you were to offer the other a completely opposing out-of-sync-set of these constituents. It will forever keep you apart. For, what gets supported is separation - the very opposite of togetherness. Aiming for the common denominator is not as difficult as you think.

Impossible? Not at all! Realize, your best asset is not between your legs but between your ears. Use it! There are three valuable steps you can take in the following order: All you need do is to consciously align yourself to your pal by, also fully consciously, offering him the aforementioned three constituents in equal amounts. In fisting, and in lovemaking generally, it constitutes the essence of giving. I assure you, this is in no way distracting from what both of you are up to, as you will be experiencing the benefits of it almost instantly, but do remain vigilant not to let go of this intent. As soon as both of you are floating off together, become aware of with whom you are sharing your most intimate desires. Once this has filtered through to you, become fully aware of why you are making love with just this man. And once that has filtered through, start transmitting to him your realizations, feed them back to him non-verbally, feel them to him. At this moment, both of you may find it helpful not to lose sight of each other, literally. Let your eyes convey your realizations, and your longings, simultaneously. You will be in for a huge surprise and may wonder why you have not been tapping the potential of your 'sixth' sense before.

Accepting versus Judging

Balance clears the way on many levels: It furthers our understanding of one another, of our respective yearning, sexually and otherwise, and it eliminates the hurtful and unfounded judgement of each other. For Eros' sake, we are all after the same thing and therefore need each other. Why not become aware of it and get on with assisting one another toward that goal? Entering a fisting session with balance in mind - a balanced mind - removes rash and preconceived perceptions, makes befriending easy and creates a favourable mode and mood in which a bad trip should never be possible. Without balance in mind, a fisting partner's true self can neither be accessed, nor does his potential have a chance to unfold. Stifling all that is undoubtedly detrimental to the much needed intimacy and trust. In my experience, balance is the only way to transcend one another and to enter - in unison - new realms of untold bliss and beauty. He, who got an inkling of this bliss, will never be the same again. That's a promise. A divine promise. And that is, I think, what fisting is all about.

Trust and Bonding

The unfolding emotional aspect of the much cited bonding in fisting on a one-on-one level strikes me as a fundamental characteristic of this discipline - arising from the intense intimacy - and is vital to me in generating mutual trust. I consider this the essence of attaining total fulfilment for both players. Incognizance of the enriching properties of affirmative emotions, unfortunately, allows the issues to get confused - often for personal reasons and nothing to do with the partner or the action. This confusion prevents trust from evolving and thus runs counter to its principle. It is an erroneous assumption to believe that emotional commitment equals the sell out of one's soul. On the contrary, this commitment provides the lift-off thrust for equally shared adventures on higher spheres. It needs to be discerned: Trust is a state of emotion. Without it, bonding is simply not possible. Absolutely nothing positive and nothing furthering will ever be gained from denial. I relish men who are completely and fearlessly aware of this indispensable desideratum. Utmost regard for one another, on every level, the creative and intelligent use of the mind, candidly confronting own emotions, tender touch, and even eye contact, are tremendous enhancers to enter entirely new worlds that hold the incredible deliverance so special to fisting.

♥ -- home
♥ -- about meFFisto
♥ -- more about meFFisto
♥ -- themes & you
♥ -- the art of fisting - part I
♥--- ♥ -- the art of fisting - part II
♥ -- articles, essays, poetry
♥ -- gallery to follow
♥ -- resources, links, site map
♥ -- e-mail

Forward to Part II of The Art of Fisting

http://www.meFFisto.com/AOF/VA.html